Tackling Race, Gender, and Mindfulness: Insights from a Trans Immigrant's Journey
Throughout my years, I've gleaned insights not just through lived experiences but also from the complex interweaving of race, gender, and mindfulness. This piece aims to resonate with individuals across all social locations, particularly those navigating the challenges posed by the predominantly White, colonizing, Western-centric capitalistic approach to mindfulness. While my observations may cast a gentle critique towards Western dominance, they stem from my personal journey of internalizing Western superiority—a notion subtly ingrained during my upbringing in Japan, shadowed by the Imperial Japan era. This realization propelled me towards the U.S., in pursuit of the bright white American Dream.
In my endeavor to decolonize my mindset, I find strength in what Paulo Freire describes as the "power of the oppressed," manifested through the vulnerability, gentleness, and resilience inherent in my identity as an immigrant, Asian, trans individual from the working class, residing on Munsee Lanape land.
During conversations with Jesse, the idea of documenting my yogic journey through transition was broached. Though initially sporadic, our discussions inspired me to compile my varied writings—notes and poems penned amid lockdown and home retreats. These reflections, influenced yet distinct from the teachings of my spiritual guides—Jesse Vega-Frey, Michele McDonald, Steven Smith, and Jake H Davis—echo the rich lineage of Theravada Buddhism, extending over 2600 years. My narrative weaves through these teachings, not as direct quotations but as paraphrased interpretations, respecting the dhamma's boundaryless nature.
Embracing Transition with Openness and Mindfulness
Transition is a multifaceted experience—joyous, challenging, and transformative. It's a journey of embracing change with both calmness and resilience, navigating through the storms of disenchantment and disillusionment. Whether deemed a trial or a relief, readiness for transition embodies a spectrum of yes, no, and maybe.
My meditation practice and gender-affirming medical care deeply intertwine, guided by the trauma-sensitive approach of my mentors. This foundation has been crucial in managing doubts and fostering self-worth and acceptance amidst significant life decisions. Engaging with the essence of doubt—its murky, suffocating texture—offers moments of clarity, not through seeking immediate solutions but by being present with what is, cultivating compassion, lovingkindness, and equanimity.
Living in NYC as a freelance performer doesn't offer the most supportive environment for such exploration. Yet, it's in these challenging settings that moments of clarity emerge, revealing the non-conceptual, pre-verbal nature of doubt and the transformative power of mindfulness.
A Journey of Self-Discovery and Gender Transcendence
My exploration of identity and gender remains an ongoing journey, far from reaching any definitive conclusions. The quest to transcend gender and liberate the mind continues, underscoring a narrative filled with more questions than answers.
Thank you for joining me on this journey of self-discovery and transformation. Your readership and the shared human experience it represents are deeply appreciated.
With Metta, Kei
