I’m still a baby meditator, but I can say…
Nothing has changed but everything did.
I am not trying to be cliche or a “zen master” like. That’s how I really feel. I still am someone who gets annoyed by New York subway, passes out in the living room after partying hard, has many many awkward social engagements, fights with my fiance…. blah blah blah. But I am kinder. Some people I met recently would say that I am calm, quiet, grounded and all. That’s so sweet. But I always has been a more of quiet person. It has nothing to do with meditation haha. Maybe meditation did make me calmer and more grounded, who knows!? I am ok and now more ok than ever to be whatever I am.
One thing I remembered through this meditation practice thing is that I wanted to be kind やさしい as a kid. I clearly remember that moment on the elementary school play ground by the fake glass thinking…. “hey Kei, I wanna be a kind person.” to myself. But nothing around me really supported me to do that. Some friends were mean, I wanted to be liked… being kind seemed like going against the norm. And you know everyone wants to fit in when you are a kid even as a adult. Now the childhood dream of being a kind person means a lot to me. That’s the one thing that happened to me with meditation practice I know for sure… being a kind person.